great Christmas presents for your blind friends

[buckeyecat at columbus.rr.com]

Wondering what to give yourself or a blind friend for Christmas this year?

Here are some suggestions you'll want to avoid.  None of these is on my
Christmas wish list!  However, I send this advertisement to you, wrapped in
a smile!  

 

  scientific maxi Morris aids

   The following products coming soon to the JW independent scientific 

  maxi Morris aids catalogue.  These products will be great to help with
your everyday life!

 

Talking dentil floss:

   Spanish-English versions available with helpful prompting from this 

  floss.   your teeth will never be the same!

   Floss says:

   "open up"

   "one grubby molar

   two grubby molars"

   and so on until all your teeth are free from debris !

 

Braille Toilet Paper!:

   This tactile tissue contains the meaning of life on each roll!

  Read   your way to a wiser you while you use the Braille to help with

other things that aren't so pleasant!

 

Talking commode:

   This comfortable toilet tells you when the lid is up or down and if 

  it's   #1 or #2! No more thinking about what you are doing now your 

  mind can concentrate on more important things like that odd mumbling sound
beneath you.

   Our top of the line talking commode has the added comedy feature .  

  It will make snide remarks about your physique when you have your back
turned!

   Talking toilet brush not included!

 

   Talking shoes!

   These wonderful talking shoes tell you just what you are walking on 

  or stepping in! Identifies things such as grass, sidewalks, pavement, and
dog droppings.

   Shoes come in brown white and in English and Spanish  Product 

  produced by JW independent scientific maxi Morris aids Distributed by 

  Pay More shoe store

 

Talking sofa!

   This chatty piece of furniture will keep you company on those rainy 

  nights.  The sofa will chat about the weather latest sports scores or 

  even commiserate with you on that bad day at work!

   Manufacturer not responsible for sofa rudeness after gas is emitted 

  from occupant.

 

   Braille Range

   The JW independent scientific maxi Morris aids company has worked 

  together with Hot pool appliances to produce this innovative product!

  Know exactly how hot your cook surface is by quickly reading the 

  Braille display found in the center of each heating element.  Oven 

  temperature is found inside the oven door.

   Not only does this product make preparing that meal easier but it 

  also helps your Braille reading speed.

 

   A new category of products will appear in our new catalogue.

  You asked, we listen.  Here at JW independent scientific maxi Morris aids
.

  we have   answered the requests for occupational products specifically
designed with the blind in mind.

 

   For that up and coming professional racecar driver, we are perfecting r
new pit finder.  Never miss the pit row again! This highly developed system
uses a GPS system to locate your designated pit stop.  An audible tone is
heard when approaching pit row.  As you approach your designated pit stop,
the beeps become higher in pitch and frequency.  This product not yet
effective in locating members of the pit crew.

 

   For those visually impaired surgeons on your holiday list, our new 

  talking scalpel will be a perfect gift.  This talking scalpel has a 

  clear female voice.  A cut above the other competitors on the market, 

  our new scalpel tells the surgeon to keep cutting.  "Oh, no.  Not 

  there!" is heard when the wrong area has been approached with this 

  intelligent surgical tool.  No blind surgeon should be without this.

  Order today!

 

   As heard on TV.  The talking chainsaw is very popular among our 

  customers.  This tool is easy to operate.  Taped instructions included.
Simply   place your finger under the cutting guide to ensure the length of
the proper cut.

   Begin cutting immediately to allow the best results.  This tool has 

  considerably increased the coordination and reaction time of its users.  A
clear male voice announces the depth of the cut.  Four D batteries not
included.

 

   Metal detecting long, white cane.

   This innovative mobility device beeps when metal has been located.  

  Tap, tap, swing, swing, your way to riches!

   Don't overlook that penny again.  This portable cane only weighs a 

  mere   17 pounds.

   Four rechargeable D batteries included with this item.  Charger sold 

  separately.

 

   For the dog guide user.  Get Fido a pair of these stunning shades.  

  On those bright days when your pup can't see the color of those 

  traffic lights due to the glare, the dark glasses will provide 

  protection from the harmful UV rays of the sun.  Fido will never miss 

  the red light again! Made from durable, scratch resistant plastic.

  Protective case sold separately.

   These news items written with tongue firmly planted in cheek.

  No item   here is intended for use by the actual public and any

resemblance to past or future or even current products is merely
coincidental.

   The staff of blind-Novel-Tees